The real truth is, the past few days, I wasn't entirely myself.
Usually, when I feel gloomy, I will put on my plastic face. Which is:
On the outside, I seemed cheerful and laughter all the way but on the inside I was faking it.
I wasn't feeling cheerful at all actually.
But this time, I couldn't be bothered to fake a smile or crack a joke or make a conversation if I don't feel like it.
That is why during that period I didn't entertain any calls or certain texts because I don't feel like covering my real emotions. I'm sick of it.
For once, I want people to know that (at that time) I. AM. NOT. OKAY.
A few of my friends knew there's something wrong with me and they were concerned but I don't feel like explaining to them.
I am so sorry if I was unreachable, friends.
And with that huge amount of emotion, a huge amount of consequences occurred.
Which leads to me getting a series of non-stop headache for 1 whole week, no appetite and nausea everytime I consumed any kind of food.
I shared about my sickness on Twitter and my friend Zawani gave me one hell of an amazing tip.
Drink Vanilla Coke and my nausea will be gone!
And surprisingly, it works! Thank you Zawani! :D
Now I always have Vanilla Coke stocked up in my fridge. Awesome!
After suffered all of those stuff, I realized whatever I felt, it wasn't worth it.
Enough is enough man. Why should I punish myself? Why do I let myself to be punished?
I don't deserve this, and I want to give my body and my mind a break.
It's time to let go of all of the sufferings.
Don't think so hard (which is my weakness since..ever!)
Just be Happy cause I deserve it.
And always Believe in any possibilities.
Does it sound ancient? I know I've just turned 23 last week and I think my mental strength grows with it. For the first time since my birthday last week, I'm happy to be 23! Heh.
Sadness and being depressed will come to me once in a while, I can assure that and I'm totally ready with it.
But I think it's normal to feel that way. It takes time to heal.
And I hope when I've started working, these wounds will be healed and my heart will be mended.