Thursday, September 16, 2010

This Love. This Life.

This blog - I shared everything in here.
My happiness, my sadness, my joyous and proudest moments, my dilemmas - everything.

This blog - it's with me for 3 years now.
My study life, my love and out-of-love life, my intern life, my training life - everything.

I poured a lot of stuff in here.

Hardships in life are everywhere. Same goes to the obstacles faced - they're everywhere.
I may have been bored with all of this drama, but I know that I can't run away from it. It'll always stuck with me - also with every human being in this world.

I used to lead a very boring life - no ups and downs, no dramas, no dilemmas etc.
But now, my life gets more and more interesting by the minute. Doesn't matter if it's happy stuff or sad stuff.

And now, I'm leading such a massive difficulties in my life. I'm sad most of the time, being left heart broken and burdened with all of this crisis and uncertainties - which most of the time sucks, a lot.

But I'm dealing with it, day by day. I'll be okay with it, eventually. (I think)

On second thought, maybe not now. I think it's healthy for me to start mourning and crying my heart out, just to let it all out of my chest. Rather than keeping it all inside, not knowing when will it burst.

Move on? Maybe later.

You, thanks for the memories. Thanks for the experience. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to feel this wonderful feeling, all this while. And, thanks for willing to be a part in my life, even for just a short while.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

inner crisis

It's almost mid September now.

Wow, 3 weeks had passed. How time flies. And within that time, a lot of things happened. A lot of painful things.
I don't know if I've done anything wrong until I'm being treated this way.

Am I not good enough to people? Am I cruel to them? Have I hurt anybody?

If I have, well then, trust me please, I'm paying my price now. One hell of a price.

I always wonder, don't I deserve a happiness? I used to be very happy with my life, where is it now? Why won't happiness stick with me?

Again, I ask myself, have I done something massive which leads to me experiencing a series of sadness in my life? Have I?

Honestly speaking, NOBODY have EVER treated me nicely. Seriously.

I'm always being placed as the last resort.
I'm forgettable.
I'm not worth it.

I don't deserve all of this.

Why must life be so cruel, unfair and full of hatred?
Can I like give up with this life and choose to have another life instead? Seriously.

Astaghfirullah.

Friday, September 10, 2010


Salam Aidilfitri buat semua umat Islam.

Maaf Zahir dan Batin :)