Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Ugly & Hideous Truth.

The real truth is, the past few days, I wasn't entirely myself.

Usually, when I feel gloomy, I will put on my plastic face. Which is:
On the outside, I seemed cheerful and laughter all the way but on the inside I was faking it.
I wasn't feeling cheerful at all actually.

But this time, I couldn't be bothered to fake a smile or crack a joke or make a conversation if I don't feel like it.
That is why during that period I didn't entertain any calls or certain texts because I don't feel like covering my real emotions. I'm sick of it.
For once, I want people to know that (at that time) I. AM. NOT. OKAY.

A few of my friends knew there's something wrong with me and they were concerned but I don't feel like explaining to them.
I am so sorry if I was unreachable, friends.

And with that huge amount of emotion, a huge amount of consequences occurred.
Which leads to me getting a series of non-stop headache for 1 whole week, no appetite and nausea everytime I consumed any kind of food.

I shared about my sickness on Twitter and my friend Zawani gave me one hell of an amazing tip.
Which is:
Drink Vanilla Coke and my nausea will be gone!

And surprisingly, it works! Thank you Zawani! :D
Now I always have Vanilla Coke stocked up in my fridge. Awesome!

After suffered all of those stuff, I realized whatever I felt, it wasn't worth it.
Enough is enough man. Why should I punish myself? Why do I let myself to be punished?
I don't deserve this, and I want to give my body and my mind a break.

It's time to let go of all of the sufferings.
Don't think so hard (which is my weakness since..ever!)
Just be Happy cause I deserve it.
And always Believe in any possibilities.

Does it sound ancient? I know I've just turned 23 last week and I think my mental strength grows with it. For the first time since my birthday last week, I'm happy to be 23! Heh.

Sadness and being depressed will come to me once in a while, I can assure that and I'm totally ready with it.
But I think it's normal to feel that way. It takes time to heal.

And I hope when I've started working, these wounds will be healed and my heart will be mended.
InsyaAllah :)

Quarter-cured face.

My future. Hope it lasts. Amin.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

My Awesome Degree Convocation :))


I will always remember that date, cause it was my convocation day.
Who would've thought, I've graduated (quite) successfully for my Degree and I'm ecstatic!
That day was definitely special :) A day to remember.

Looking back during my diploma convocation, I was a bit frustrated because I don't snap pictures with friends that much. It's Friday and people can't stay long because they need to go to Friday prayers. And in my case, I also can't stay long because my sisters had to go to work.
Quite disappointing, yeah, but at that time I knew I still have another convocation and oh I will make sure it's gonna be awesome!

And it was awesome. Although by the time our convocation ceremony ended it was raining cats and dogs but still, it was awesome.
You wanna know why?

Because my whole family was there. Okay, not exactly the whole family, minus my brother but he can be excused because he's in Kedah. But other than him, my family was there.

Yes, my mother came! My dad too. And my mom was inside the hall that day with my sister, Dee. I'm so excited. I'm not gonna spill in here but whoever knows me enough will surely share the same excitement that I felt when I stressed out that MY MOTHER CAMEEE!!

And yeah quite a few of my friends were excited for me when they knew :)

And you wanna know another reason why my convocation day was awesome?
Because. I. Received. FLOWERS!
(like duh you would say because it's a convocation, people gave flowers right? But I know my family, they would rather gave me toys or bears with graduation hats than giving me flowers. Especially fresh ones, because they don't lasts.)

Yeah, I totally get that. I'm not exactly a typical girl who love fresh flowers because I know it will die anyways, right? But somehow just because it's my convocation day I specifically told my family that I want FLOWERS! Because it will look good in pictures. haha (and that's the only reason)

Plus point, my MOTHER gave me fresh carnations WITH a Minnie Mouse teddy bear WITH graduation hats :) Talk about a complete set huh? My mother, she's the best!
And I received gifts from my family members as well i.e fake but very pretty flowers and lots and lots and lots of mini teddy bears.

Gosh, I am so not bragging. Please don't feel like I'm bragging by telling you all of these details. It's just that I don't receive presents or gifts that much, you know. So just share my excitement yeah? :)

And I love being a journalism student. Again, you wanna know why?
Because we were the first major (MC221) being called on stage. And my number was 12. And I was placed at the very first row, and the stage are right in front of me.
So I had a really good view of those who were on stage.

But the sucky part of having your name called among the earliest was I had to sit and wait through the whole ceremony. And sitting at the first row seriously not helping. Imagine, the dean, the vice-chancellor, the pro chancellor, and all of the lecturers are in front of me. So we kinda have to behave ourselves and sit with absolute manner.

That sucks and by the end of the ceremony I could barely feel my ass. Literally.

But anyways, I had a great time. I snap pics with (I think) everyone. And that's a great thing of hiring my very own personal photographer hehe. The word 'hiring' is not appropriate because I didn't pay him a single cent :P But thank you so much yea to my personal photographer, and for the roses as well.

Also thanks a bunch to my bestfriends Afidah and Farah who came altogether with Asrul and Dzarul. Thank you for the present Fie and thank you Farah for belanja-ing me dinner :)

I had a super great time!

And 28.11.2010 was indeed a magical and fun-filled day for me.
Keyword: AWESOME!

PS: Pics will be uploaded later, or maybe I'll create a new post just for the pictures. I'm too tired now, heee :)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I will.

I will spend some time and blog about:
  1. My Degree Convocation (28th Nov)
  2. The End of My JPEC Training (30th Nov)
With pictures, of course :)

I will blog about this. I will I will I will.
But not today nor tomorrow. Maybe next week? I will try.

I am not lazy!! I still remember My February Resolution. It's just that, the timing is not right.
I'm not giving excuses!! Trust me. Trust me.

I will blog about this. This is a huugeeeee matter to me. A turning point in my life. It's a big deal.

I will I will I will I will blog about this 2 things :)