The MH370 mystery has taken a lot of our time, attention and sleep.
It has been 23 days since it's gone missing, and I haven't had any peaceful sleep since.
Always on standby, always feel scared to have a shut eye in case I will miss any news about the incident, and always "tidur-tidur ayam".
Doesn't matter if it is during my off days, or if I am on leave, my neon green handphone will always be by my side.
There are reporters who were called back from their off days, and had been working for 12 days straight.
As for my own experience, I had to spent more than 10 hours at the airport. From 8am - 10pm..standby if there are any family members at the airport.
Always alert of any movement of our surroundings.
Spent a lot of money for our meal. Airport food are not cheap.
The next time I was assigned there, I had to drop by at 7-11 to buy light snacks and drinks, just to save money. No proper meal, coz I think it is ridiculous to spend RM16 for a simple nasi ayam rendang.
Then, I was assigned to Everly Hotel, Putrajaya..where all of the family members stayed there.
Again, had to be there from early morning til night. Although Alamanda shopping mall is just next door, but I am so afraid to leave the hotel, in case there are any arrivals from any important people.
So yup, no meal too. Thankfully, one of our ministers dropped by to visit the family members and brought food and mineral water for the media. God bless you, Datuk Seri.
Then, the daily press conference from Acting Transport Minister DS Hishammuddin Hussein, Department of Civil Aviation and MAS, was transferred from Sama-Sama Hotel in Sepang to PWTC.
Had to spent a lot of my time there as well.
During this crucial time, good relationship between the media people is crucial. Same goes to our relationship with the secretariat and establishing good contacts with everyone, just for the sake of our story.
It has been a hectic 23 days, and counting.
Had fever the other day, but I chose to ignore it and work, so it goes away. But now, I have the chills again and sore throat. Oh God, no fever please. Not now. I need my energy, and I need to be in my best condition. Please, ya Allah.
BUT, what I and the rest of the media people are going through right now is just a small thing, as compared to the pain and sadness felt by the family members of the passengers and crew affected.
I do not know anyone on that plane, but it is someone else's loved ones, and it breaks my heart every single time I see them cry.
If only I could channel my strength to them, I would. Take my shoulder, I am giving it to you to cry on it.
I feel useless because I am unable to help them.
But I do believe, that what I am doing right now, as a media, is my own way of helping them. By providing real news and updates that they could rely on and trust.
I am sacrificing my time and giving my all for this job, only for one purpose. For the family members and their friends who are suffering right now. I hope what I am doing, what I am providing, will help them. Even if it is not much, just for a little is enough.
I do not appreciate those sitting at the comfort of their homes, spreading lies and baseless speculations. When those who have the media card, who are really certified to become a journalist are working our ass off to provide news and always hoping and praying for good news so that we could tell them the good news and it would ease the burden of their family members and friends.
The international media, they have their own agenda. I lost my respect to them. I used to idolise them. I used to really want to work there someday, because I thought it would be a good portfolio for me in this field, to make my name well known as a true journalist.
But after witnessing their way of working, who report based on speculations and "hear say" and sources who only God knows if they are from a legit source about MY country, about these innocent people, I do not trust them anymore.
They have crushed my heart, and my dreams to move forward in this industry. I will stay with the local media as long as I could, as long as I know that they are giving real news from a credible source.
The international media, they do not practice real journalism. They only practice sensational journalism. And shame on them.
To the family members and friends of those on board, not a day goes by without praying for your loved ones and pray that you will always be given the strength to face this situation, and to always be strong and be prepared for any findings revealed.
My heart goes out to each and every single one of you, and of course to those involved in the SAR operation as well.